meant to be together
i’ve had the privilege of working with teenagers at different times in my life. one of the major issues that all teenagers deal with is the issue of dating. when i’ve had the opportunity to address this issue, although it always killed the romantic aspect of dating for many of the girls (the guys could usually care less), i would explain to them that even though it’s fun to believe that there is someone out there who is “the one” for us, i don’t necessarily think that’s the way it works.
i believe that rather than our lives being like a roller coaster track that we are just supposed to do our best to stay on, it is instead a series of choices that can take us in a variety of directions in a variety of ways. as it relates to dating, i do not believe that there is necessarily one person out there that we are supposed to find, and if we don’t we miss what god wanted for us. in other words, i could have married a variety of different people, and i still could have been doing god’s will for my life. the importance then is in seeking god’s wisdom in making the best choices possible, rather than in seeking god’s will for who we should end up with. we need his help to find someone that is compatible with what he wants for us, but there may be a variety of people who would fit that description. again, i know this takes a lot of the romance out of it.
lately though, as i have been enjoying my family, and particularly some time with my wife, god has been challenging me on this a bit. there is a part of me now that believes that god did have me in mind for my wife and my wife in mind for me – that he created us for each other. there is a part of me that believes we are perfect for each other and that there’s no one god would rather have either of us with.
as i reflect on these feelings, it reminds me of one of the most important things to keep in mind when it comes to what we believe…there should always be balance that we seek to maintain between the tensions of the extremes. we can’t always explain the balance, and it doesn’t always fulfill that desire we have for the black and white, concrete and completely definable answers that so many of us think we have found.
we see this in the bible – one author writes about how there are blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience, while in another book we read that good things don’t always happen to good people and bad things don’t always happen to bad people…another author writes that we are rescued by god through our faith not our works, while another author points out that faith without works is not faith at all. all of this suggests that truth is bigger than the black and white extremes and that it demands a constant tension in order to maintain a balance of belief.
so maybe i could have married other people and still been within god’s will, and maybe god’s will for me was to marry my wife. perhaps it’s a bit of both, beyond what i can fully grasp or explain. that would have really frustrated me in the past – not having a definite answer or explanation – but i am acknowledging and appreciating the mystery of it all more and more each day.
