awaken mercy

as some of you know, my wife and i are relatively new at parenting. our son was born a little over ten months ago…it has been quite an adventure, and we have learned so many things along the way. he has been such an amazing blessing. we have not been without our share of challenges though. one of the major health issues that our son has faced is reflux. it has made eating and sleeping much more difficult for him than it is for most babies.

as we have tried to deal with and manage the sleeping problems in particular, god has been teaching me a few things about my own life and relationship with him. my son has yet to really establish a pattern for sleeping. everyone told us that he would after a month or two, and then the promise was six months, and then nine months, and now we are at ten months…and there are still no real patterns. 

he is just now getting to the point where he can sleep in his bed without being propped up and without puking up his dinner…so we have begun the process of trying to get him to sleep in his bed. as any parent knows, this is no easy task, especially after he has been sleeping with us much longer than most babies.

when we first tried this a couple weeks ago, the first night was not so bad. the second night was a little better. the third night was like starting all over again, and the fourth night was worse than ever before. then we had a good night, and then not a good night. it was back and forth and back and forth.

in my frustration over the few steps forward few steps backward cycle that seemed to be never ending, i was reminded of my own journey with god. so often with him i take steps forward, and then come crashing down in the wrong direction, then a little movement forward, and more steps backward. when i think about how frustrating the sleeping…not sleeping…sleeping…not sleeping thing has been for me, i wonder how frustrating it must be for god at times to watch me do the same thing – with much more awareness of what i am doing than our son has by the way.

yet thankfully he continues to extend to me mercy and grace. thankfully he continues to catch me when i stumble and maximize the gains that i make through his supernatural work in my life. i am so grateful for this…if only my gratitude would always translate into greater success in avoiding the cycle. i pray that it will for me and for all of you who find yourselves in a similar situation at times. how great is our savior and rescuer, jesus, who has covered all of this through the giving of his life for us.