meant to be together
i’ve had the privilege of working with teenagers at different times in my life. one of the major issues that all teenagers deal with is the issue of dating. when i’ve had the opportunity to address this issue, although it always killed the romantic aspect of dating for many of the girls (the guys could usually care less), i would explain to them that even though it’s fun to believe that there is someone out there who is “the one” for us, i don’t necessarily think that’s the way it works.
i believe that rather than our lives being like a roller coaster track that we are just supposed to do our best to stay on, it is instead a series of choices that can take us in a variety of directions in a variety of ways. as it relates to dating, i do not believe that there is necessarily one person out there that we are supposed to find, and if we don’t we miss what god wanted for us. in other words, i could have married a variety of different people, and i still could have been doing god’s will for my life. the importance then is in seeking god’s wisdom in making the best choices possible, rather than in seeking god’s will for who we should end up with. we need his help to find someone that is compatible with what he wants for us, but there may be a variety of people who would fit that description. again, i know this takes a lot of the romance out of it.
lately though, as i have been enjoying my family, and particularly some time with my wife, god has been challenging me on this a bit. there is a part of me now that believes that god did have me in mind for my wife and my wife in mind for me – that he created us for each other. there is a part of me that believes we are perfect for each other and that there’s no one god would rather have either of us with.
as i reflect on these feelings, it reminds me of one of the most important things to keep in mind when it comes to what we believe…there should always be balance that we seek to maintain between the tensions of the extremes. we can’t always explain the balance, and it doesn’t always fulfill that desire we have for the black and white, concrete and completely definable answers that so many of us think we have found.
we see this in the bible – one author writes about how there are blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience, while in another book we read that good things don’t always happen to good people and bad things don’t always happen to bad people…another author writes that we are rescued by god through our faith not our works, while another author points out that faith without works is not faith at all. all of this suggests that truth is bigger than the black and white extremes and that it demands a constant tension in order to maintain a balance of belief.
so maybe i could have married other people and still been within god’s will, and maybe god’s will for me was to marry my wife. perhaps it’s a bit of both, beyond what i can fully grasp or explain. that would have really frustrated me in the past – not having a definite answer or explanation – but i am acknowledging and appreciating the mystery of it all more and more each day.
the benefits of doing life together
although many people would probably not guess this about me, i am an introvert. it’s not that i don’t love people, and it’s not that i don’t love spending time with people – i do. it does mean though that refreshing and recharging for me happen as a result of some time by myself.
even though this is the case, i also realize there are some extremely important benefits to spending time with people – doing life together with them. god has been reminding me of these benefits quite a bit lately, so i thought i would share a few of them here on the site.
1) doing life together keeps me accountable. it’s easy when i am by myself a lot, or even just with my family a lot, to get comfortable with being less than i should be. i settle into bad attitudes and habits much more quickly and permanently. when i am around other people though, i am forced out of my comfort and complacency. i cannot take these relationships or my interaction in them for granted. instead i have to learn how to become who i need to be in order to create a healthy context for these relationships. this is good for me. i can’t tell you how many friends and family members i know who fail to spend time with other people. as a result, they have not learned how to be the people of kindness, grace, thoughtfulness, and courtesy that they should be.
2) in addition to this, doing life together with others helps me to keep perspective and value others. i am amazed at the way that spending time with people does this. it is easy for me to become annoyed with or critical of others when i have no interaction with them. when i begin to spend time with them though, i begin to understand them and see them as a real person who is not that different from me. i begin to see them as someone who has been made in god’s image and who god loves and values deeply. i need this.
3) finally, doing life together with others is fulfilling. even though i recharge and refresh when i have some time alone, there is no substitute for true community with other people. it creates camaraderie that all of us need. it helps to overcome our sense of loneliness that we feel and experience at times. in addition to this, it also is a major part of what god created us for. our god, by his very nature, exists in community as the father, son, and spirit. as a result, we who have been made in his image, were made for community and connection with others. we can’t truly live without it – no matter how introverted we may be!
so be communal…do life together with others. realize how essential it is for all of us, and enjoy doing life together with others – so that our relationships and interactions with others can be all that god intended them to be.
church copycats @ church marketing sucks
i read a great article on the church marketing sucks website. the title of the article is “church copycats.” check it out here.
why awaken mercy?
so why the name – awaken mercy – for this site? mercy is one of the most powerful and profound ideas that we can imagine and embrace. it involves putting ourselves in the shoes of others, seeking to better understand them, showing kindness to them, and extending patience, grace, and forgiveness to them.
is this easy? not at all. but is it powerful? absolutely! it has the power to change us, as well as the entire world around us. it fosters a respect deep in our souls for the interconnectedness of humanity, and i believe is in fact one of the greatest desires god has for us – that we would love mercy and have a merciful spirit awakened within us.
again it is not easy, but as we realize and reflect on how merciful god has been with us, i believe he can inspire us and transform us so that we begin to reflect the mercy he has extended to us. that’s my dream for all of us, and i hope that the conversations for the journey that we share on this site will help us to experience this awakening of mercy in our lives.
